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♥ Ryn Azrynne
Because none of it was ever worth the risk. But you are the only exception. And I'm on my way to believing. Oh yes I'm on my way to believing. |
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♥ Me
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♥ My Songs
  Music Playlist at MixPod.com |
15 years ago all over again
I really wish I would feel differently. But when I saw what you and your friends were talking about in public, let's just say the knife you plunged inside my chest just went all the way in. It hurts girl. I didn't know you were capable of playing the bitch when I'd never did anything to ever hurt you. Ever. But yes, I just have to deal with the fact that maybe I was blinded by the yearning to be accepted by you because you are his very good close best friend. And i didn't want to be like THAT girl. It hurts. Why'd you sink so low? The others I don't really give a damn if they want to hurt me because hey...i don't even know them. There is your answer people. You don't know anything about anyone so why'd they go bitch about and all that? Heh. But. But. But. The most amazing thing is I am willing to forgive you girl. Because I still like you. And I don't blame you for doing this behind me. People have their reasons. I doubt jealousy is the key here. About those other 2 girls? Yeah maybe they're jealous. I don't know. Or else why'd they do this? But you? Jealous? Hard to believe. Prove me wrong. I don't know anymore girl. I cried when I say the whole thing. No wonder you went MIA on me and refused to answer calls texts etc etc. And no. I have not told anyone about this. Not the names at least. Look...do i seem like the girl to run over to people complaining "omg that girl i trusted her...she did this to me she hurt me her name's ----!!!" i didn't. Because I'm not that immatured. Hell I'm even older than you. So hey like I said, I don't blame you. It's always been like this. Since secondary school. People LOVE bullying this library girl. Because her skirt's always longer than the rest. Her socks higher than the rest. Always a book in hand. Messy hairdo. Unshaved/Unplucked eyebrows. Skinny. Geeky. Pale. Quiet. So the bullies are always the same race as me. ALWAYS. Hence, the reason why I always mixed with the chinese. Like what a really close friend for almost 8years said (she's chinese btw) "Told you to open your eyes when you be friends with these people. Look what happened now. Again and again." Guess so. Everytime I became friends with the same race as me, I'd always end up the one on the floor crying while they laugh and spit and step on me. FUN isnt it? Even in Anugerah singing competition. I was the loner. With a book in hand. Society wasn't for me. Unless they were chinese. Funnily enough, when I was mixing with my chinese gangs, those same chinese people regarded me as their sister and would KILL to protect me. If i ever shed a tear, they'd go "FUCK. WHO DID THIS TO YOU?! TELL ME NOW. I DONT LIKE SEEING YOU CRY." and amazing thing is they refused to let anyone influenced me with cigs and alcohols and clubs. The ones who are the same race as me...ahhh different story. I remember this scenario which happened last year with a bunch of malay girls. "Hey try drinking heinekken. Really good beer." or "Eh let's go DXO!!! My treat. Sneak out of the house at 1am. BEST!!!" like wtfh. I'm also not saying the most perfect of all Muslims who don't EVER sin. NO. I'm human too. I make mistakes too. But I know where are the boundaries. Also...no. I'm not saying all malay girls are like that. Bear this in mind. It's always to me. Happening to me. Wonder why. Does it pain YOU to see me smiling happy doing what I like and enjoy? =( Or maybe like what AJ's friend Hafizah said to me "Friends with guys better. Girls must choose very wisely." true fact because most of my friends are guys. Where are my Coke Groupy?! we need to do the Coke dance. =P LOLOLOL!!! So starting from now, I am only going to mix and choose girlfriends who are either chinese OR if they are not, they must have more chinese friends than malays. Sorry. I'm not being racist here but for 15years these shit have been happening to me since primary school. Hell even my bestfriend since primary school is chinese. And now my other bestfriend is malay but *smirks* we can speak chinese and we even listen to chinese songs and we both have more chinese friends than malays. Yes FIZA...talking about you. I miss you nu ren. We must chillax with bubble tea and jay chou again. LOL - On a lighter note, have been spending time with Shaz. She is mad-rad awesome. Seriously. Her listening ears are absolutely awesome. One day must chillax with Tubby. REMEMBER THIS!!! LOL i love you girl. thnks for sharing stuffs you never told anyone except Tubby. So now only us 3 know this TOASTY secret. but i am proud of this girl. very very very. Our lips are sealed. =) <3 I miss sandfly. He'll know what to do. Get well soon brother soulmate. I love you. And... I MISS BF <3 |