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♥ Ryn Azrynne
Because none of it was ever worth the risk. But you are the only exception. And I'm on my way to believing. Oh yes I'm on my way to believing. |
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♥ Me
22101986half arab half bugis white chocolates.white roses piano.books.cats the beach starbucks.redbull.pink dolphin red.white.grey sunsets.moonlights headphones.vocal house.shorts arsenal.cod blackops.leica chanel.armani.zara the little mermaid rocket power.ppg fee.lyn.jaz.uzir.mudd ♥ My Links
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♥ My Songs
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life is wonderful...so far.
so many beautiful things...and when i lose myself i think of you. - i am having "life is wonderful - jason mraz" in my life for so long. i like living this way. trouble free. school and work and family and friends. repeat. =D contented living ftw~ =D so anyway, i passed my first sememster with a grade of A- which is awesome because i expected a B. lol made some good friends in school. here's a description of my group of friends who sits around me. Uli, she sits beside me. a 27yrs old chinese indo lady from Jakarta who is working part time as a model in Surya magazine and running a shoe business in Singapore and Jakarta. she is one tall geeky fair long haired person who is always in her shocking pink crocs and likes sleeping when the lecturer starts talking about Chennai Jiyong, he sits directly behind me. a 28yrs old damn effing hot hot hot Korean guy who is not doing anything serious or major "at the mo" (as he likes to say). he always rushes into class like he is late and will die if he is 1min late for class (even though he is not late) with his BEATS earphones and the songs playing... like OMG. it will always be some guitar classical song...blasting loudly! goodness... i always think of the beach when i hear those songs lol oh yes he likes nudging my shoulder and asking "say what again?" in his american accent everytime the lecturer goes on about something (which i myself find incomprehensible at times too) ROFLMAO! Suyi and Shio, these twin sisters sits right in front of me. 27yrs old Japanese twins from the city-aka Tokyo. they are both working for Kinokuniya and i am not even bothering to ask what are their posts judging from what outfits they wear every Tuesday since they are straight from work. think black or white sharply cut power suits and briefcases. lol but they are easily identified. Suyi has long hair while Shio's hair is a pixie bob. they talk alot. ALOT. Marie, she sits beside Jiyong. 29yrs old Swedish Muslim convert who is engaged with a Malay Singaporean. she is always always always LATE. zzz... she's a generally quiet person who is always wearing her blonde hair in a ponytail lol she's working at Citibank as a bank manager while her fiance works at Zara as a retail assistant. yeap. go figure out what is love people. =) it aint about money for sure for this case. so yeap that's all. today is a thursday and i have NO SCHOOL!!! yay! and tomorrow i am working!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! =D hahaha happy~ with that i am signing off~ ciao sinchi~ you know i miss you =) nothing, k bye.
okok no liners for this entry. too lazy to think of words. =Pactually wanted to write "I AM SO HAPPY!!!" but i stopped myself... lol ok let's put this instead. I AM SO CONTENTED! hehehe... in all honesty i dont rly know what to write. o.o but i shall persevere =D to the best of my capabilities... cheh. oh i know. i am supposed to study for tmr's test. awesome. okok i shall go study aftr this ok? hmm... as i am thinking about something i start humming TWAF. lol YOU know what it is ok... hmmm... i guess that's about it. mental block i think. all i have in my head is "progress test tomorrow" on repeat. zzz... die lah. k bye. chao sinchi.
as this cold wet morning turns into a breezy afternooni sought some piece of bliss from a song that speaks of loneliness the words that rhymes with ease i sing in tune and suddenly i know what it was that's missing besides happiness - it's fifteen minutes past one in the afternoon. going out a bit earlier to meet my agent over at chinatown where her office is situated. then off to work straight at tanah merah. i have this stupid flu...since yesterday morning. slept with my nose blocked and mouth open to breathe. ugly i know. LOL yesterday, the family had some sort of kenduri or something thingy. some ustadz came around 4.30pm and left at 6.30pm. cooked alot with mom yesterday. after clearing up everything, i left for my assignment exam which started at 8.30pm and ended at 9.30pm. lucky i took it or else i would have to stay behind next week til 11pm to complete it. imagine... me and my lecturer Mr Nair. zzz... "back in Chennai the weather is so blistering hot you all should be thankful for air condition. always complaining too cold, bring snow jacket lah if like that ok?" roflmao... he is always "in Chennai..." this that. lol been missing my late grandfather. i want to visit the grave to recite some prayers for him... i should go asap since i've been having dreams of him. i wonder if he knows i miss him. i think he does. i think he does... so anyway, i must stop writing here. have to get ready now. chao sinchi! ;) u know i miss u. i switched off.
is anyone proud?that i am still here, after all that has happened to me? to see me smiling and laughing, my frowns and tears nobody can see? they can hear me talking about happiness and joy? i stand tall even though everyone takes me apart like a toy? is anyone proud? my school exams are aced even if my mind's not in one piece? the songs i sing at work makes people think i am at ease? that i can enter a shop and buy a pair of jeans? that i can talk about my jeans when my heart is not at peace? - i turned into this clay painted facade that day i came home to find myself unwelcomed. it seems girls have it the worst. i wonder if i were to marry would i unknowingly share the same traits? i doubt so. but for now i cannot even justify my words that i was ever in pain. ever. it seems i have finally gained my ultimate wish to be born senseless. or maybe it's just that i am immune already. happiness is but a word. like a friend once said... do not be too happy. my sentiment is for God will see that you have neglected feeling pain or sadness and He will shower you with double the pain just for feeling that pure unadulterated happiness. get what i mean? it's like a kid having chocolates and he is having too much that people start noticing and they will grab the chocolates away from the kid because it's too much. maybe too much chocolates is unhealthy. maybe too much happiness is unhealthy. as the saying goes "don't be too happy because later you will be even less happier than ever when it all comes crashing down." TRUE. never again will i even attempt at finding my happiness. if it does comes naturally to me, i must be on my guard. as unfair as it may sound, i think God; Allah, wants me who is a mere human being to understand that happiness comes with a price. i know that now. i won't ever be too happy. forgive me Allah... on that note, i am going to go catch up on my topics. final exam is in 4 days. i know. wtf right? LOL off to study... zzz... PS : don't worry. for now i am just mediocre. neither happy nor sad. no wait. let me rephrase. for now i am unfeeling. i switched off. the rain...
and i lift my hands and pray to be only yoursi pray to be only yours i know now, you're my only hope. - so it is raining cats and dogs. here i am typing out an entry staring out at my window at that heavy downpour. school has been so-so of late. i have this super huge exam come Tuesday. yes... i have 10 freaking topics to cover. YIKES!!! looks like a no gaming weekend. booooring i know. but i will game all i want on Wednesday... hehehehe oooh yes... i had one of the most realistic dream which was horrible. 0.0 oh well... nothing much to update. might be gg out on sunday with a good friend. school later. i have to go collect a textbook later at school which weighs like 5kg with it's 800 pages. zzz... work tomorrow and saturday. bleargh... =/ |